Well friends, I have officially survived one month (and one day) here in Uganda, and there has already been some crazies and some goodies and some really uglies. In one month, life has literally flown by as I seriously feel like I just left North Carolina yesterday. Yet, in my one month here, I have already experienced so much already. I think I shall start at the beginning to explain my first month here.
The beginning, the Crazy: Flying to a country alone is one thing. Flying to a third world country by yourself, then being the last person stuck in customs because your visa is having issues, then getting forgotten at the airport by the organization you are serving for is a-whole-nother thing. Don’t worry though, I didn’t cry, I didn’t freak out (patting myself on the back.) Instead I belted out a Veggie Tales song…in my head, and told myself, if God got me this far, he’s going to protect me and keep me safe till I get where I am going. Sometimes there are hurdles we have to jump through to get where God wants us to get, and while we are jumping through them, we have learn to fully rely on God and I had to in this moment.
The Past Few Weeks, the Good: Do you know how much joy can boom in your heart when you hear the sound of a little baby giggling because you are holding them, paying attention to them and giving them something their own parents couldn’t give them, love? Yeah, I didn’t know how much joy I could experience until I met my little babies and heard them giggling when I began tickling them. I didn’t know how much love my heart could handle until I said yes to loving these babies for the next several months. I didn’t know physical exhaustion could be so worth it when it came to loving and caring for these adorable, precious kiddos. (Today is actually my day off, and as I write this I want to run down to the village and see my babies and give them kisses and hugs.)
The Bad Days, the really Ugly: While there have been some great days, there have also been some really bad days where I have felt lonely, numb and broken. However, these bad days are always the days that God teaches me to rely on Him and to trust in His Holy name. This week, especially, has been one of those tough weeks where I have lost my patience and was extremely frustrated, but God reined me in and reminded of His goodness and love.
This week, I got hit, smacked, punched, and pinched by a four/five year old, and I didn’t cry because it hurt, I cried because I lost my frustration, I cried because this is all he knows. I cried because it was a really tough day and because I failed. I failed to love him in that moment. I didn’t react in anger towards him, but I also didn’t choose to love him in that moment.
Moment of Honesty: These bad days are really bad because I don’t know how to explain to my friends and my family the emotions that are running through my mind and that are flooding my heart. Life here is very different, and I haven’t learned how to explain my emotions and feelings, the things I am seeing and dealing with yet. So I am asking for your grace when I can’t explain to you how to pray for me because I am dealing with so much here.
But here’s to my first month here! Here’s to living life fully for God! Here’s to saying yes and being obedient!!